SPG Continues to Make Headlines

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“Young men with barely a hair below their chins lured into corners by older Brown “bears,” androgene Asians writhing and squealing on sweaty couches, coins exchanged for boy gropings, girls without bras squeezing each others’ young breasts and showing off pert nipples, WASPs barely out of prep school showing off their hard lacrosse bodies, skinny Euros smelling of hand-rolled cigarettes leering at each and every American body part, jocks spitting into the mouths of effeminate boys, girls urinating standing up…” –From An Anonymous Email Regarding Brown’s Sex Event

Ah, Christwire. This website cannot be anything but a parody. So good. They actually contacted me a week or two before SPG asking if the QA/SPG website was updated with the 2009 info or not. 🙂 For those of you unfamiliar with SPG, a disclaimer: most of what’s in this article is NOT TRUE. Some of it is, but…most of it isn’t. With that said, time for some excellent excerpts from the article:
  • Originally conceived as a gay activist meeting, “Sex Power God” has grown over the years to become, in essence, a drug-fueled condemnation of Christianity laced with unsafe group sexual encounters and radically anti-American ideologies.
  • I had requested a press pass on numerous occasions and information on the time and place of this event. I received a polite reply from a woman named Aida (last name withheld out of respect for her family) that my email would be handled promptly and expected my credentials would be in the mail shortly.
  • But I never heard back from the homosexuals at Brown. Shockingly, I only found out after the fact that the party was held at all.
  • Whereas other universities are known for their fraternity life– where indoctrination can include a little beer drinking and some light-hearted male-oriented fun– Brown has an underground reputation for its uniquely elite brand of extreme perversity.
  • Sadly enough, if you had met these children on the street or in your local coffee shop, you might find them bothersome, dirty, unapproachably foreign, frighteningly unpredictable and plain old unnecessary. They have no promise or beauty about them. The greatest impact a Brown grad may have on the cultural scene of this country is likely to be deciding how low some trailer trash music sensation’s low cut jeans should go. Otherwise, you’ll find them fetching coffee for their better-prepared Ivy League brothers at Goldman Sachs or Merrill Lynch. Or maybe they join “Teach For America” long enough to convince their rich parents to buy them a BMW and a summerhouse.