My Boyfriend’s Girlfriend Isn’t Me

This song is adorable and hilarious! It could be an interesting way to introduce friends and family to the notion of polyamory. I¬†mean, not have this be their ONLY introduction, but an aid. It’s a cute way to show how complex polyamory can be. And speaking of poly…I obviously can’t speak for the person I’ll be in 20 or 30 years, but…for NOW…I definitely see myself embracing polyamory, or at the very least ethical non-monogamy of some flavor, for the long run. So regardless of what type of relationships I have NOW, be they poly or mono, I do believe that I’ll end up as non-monogamous. Sorry, abuela! ūüôā

My Boyfriend’s Girlfriend¬†by Must Be Tuesday

There’s lots of kinds of people in this world¬†
and I’m, well, I’m not like other girls¬†
How do I explain this properly? 
My boyfriend’s girlfriend isn’t me.¬†

Well obviously one of them is…¬†
But there’s another girl of his¬†
And I know her and she knows me 
and that would be great if it was just us three. 

But she has a guy who’s even more pretty¬†
and a long-distance thing in another city 
He and his wife come by when they can 
and they have a kid who calls me his aunt. 

Just when I thought it was all too crazy 
I tried to draw our family tree. 
There’s nothing wrong with extra love¬†
But the paper wasn’t big enough.¬†

Of all the ways I’ve ever dated¬†
it’s never been so complicated¬†
The chain can extend to eternity 
’cause my boyfriend’s girlfriend isn’t me.¬†

We spent Christmas eve with my boyfriend’s dad¬†
Christmas day with my folks and the feast they had 
New Years, he went to his girlfriend’s city¬†
I mean the one who isn’t me.¬†

She brought him and her other guy 
to her company picnic and I won’t lie¬†
I wasn’t used to being alone¬†
so I want someone new of my own. 

It isn’t easy to find a fling¬†
‘Cause when you hit on some tasty thing¬†
They say “Aren’t you with that guy?”¬†
You say “Oh he doesn’t mind.¬†

Have you ever seen ‘Big Love’?¬†
Know what I mean, wink, wink, nudge, nudge…”¬†
And they say “Oh, so you’re a Mormon?”¬†
“No! …I’ll explain from the beginning…”¬†


When the partners get together, 
the primaries and all the others, 
we give the newbies a little primer 
and we all get out our day timers. 

Calendars as far as the eye can see. 
“When can I see you?” “When are you free?”¬†
“Who gets me on my birthday?” and then¬†
“Does anyone have an extra pen?”¬†

The kids have the best celebration. 
Gifts from three dozen odd relations. 
There’s Uncle Jackie’s girlfriend, Mary,¬†
Ed who is her secondary…¬†

Ed’s new boyfriend brought along¬†
his ex, whose fling is going strong 
with someone that I used to know 
and just became my boyfriend’s beau…¬†


A couch where four can snuggle up 
Suddenly isn’t big enough¬†
And even so we don’t give up.¬†
There’s no such thing as too much love.

Some Good Questions

What does it mean to love someone? What does it mean to have a very strong friendship? What is the meaning of compassion, and of respect, and of happiness? What does being confident in myself and confident in others entail? How do I balance everything out and constantly remain mindful of others’ feelings? What is trust and who am I willing to trust and why? What is the extent of what I can feel for one person? For more than one person? What type of relationship do I want to have here, with each individual? What are my needs? Are they being met? What are my fears? What are my notions of what being in love “should be like/is,” and is it possible that I’m subscribing to a single model when there are actually many more out there (that are different, and perhaps even more fulfilling)? Do I yearn for something traditional, and if I do, is it because I honestly want it and believe in it OR because it’s easier to deal with and easier to explain to people like my parents?